Lady Gaga and Illuminati? this is so scary, ok

I read this from my friend's blog..so, im just sharing with all of you on what i've read..because i thought this might be quite an issue since Lady Gaga has lotsa fans out there, including me..but after reading this, i'm quite shocked if it's true..so, baca ni just utk peringatan..kalau nk percaya, percaya lah, kalau tak percaya pn, ikut suka la kn...as for me, next time i should be more careful in singing a song without knowing it's hidden meaning, particularly if the singer is lady gaga or somebody who's weird as her...scary ok...mana tau, suka sgt dok nyanyi lagu2, tiba2 lagu tu menghina Allah, bahaya ni...tak psl2 murtad tanpa disedari...na'uzubillah..baik zikir ja byk2, especially di bulan Ramadan ni drpd dengar lagu, kn..

Renung - renungkan dan selamat beramal!

Pesanan to Alejandro.... Baca sampai abis yek...

Assalamualaikum.. Semoga apa yang nak saya sampaikan harini dapat memberi sedikit manfaat kepada semua khususnya kepada peminat peminat cik Gaga ni. Insya-Allah.. Baru-baru ni terdetik nak menyiasat perkembangan baru cik Gaga yang saya sudah tahu tentang dia dan illuminati. Rupanya video untuk lagu Alejandro iaitu lagu baru dia dah release. Banyak kontroversi tentang video ni. Time nak tengok tu macam ragu-ragu jugak .Yelah vid cik Gaga ni saya sudah sedia maklum banyak unsur-unsur lucah..Tapi oleh sebab nak mengkaji apa yang ada dalam vid dia kali ni jadi saya play jugak vid dia. Jadi seperti yang disangka. Banyak benda yang dapat dilihat dalam video yang membuktikan yang dia memang Illuminati puppet. Ramai lagi artis Hollywood pun sama tapi dia yang paling berpengaruh so far ..

Video yang mencapai lebih dari 20 juta viewer kali ni lebih berani dan mengandungi banyak simbolik. Saya akan cuba explain dari apa yang saya dah dapat di satu web. Rasanya ramai jugak yang dah tahu cik Gaga adalah salah satu artis dibawah naungan illuminati. Bagi mereka yang tak tahu apa itu illuminati boleh lah keweb ni http://mistisfiles.blogspot.com/ and tengok dekat belah kanan cari Jentera Fitnah Al-Masih Ad-Dajjal ..Ada complete explanation tentang Illuminati and Freemason juga Lepas dah faham boleh teruskan baca apa yang nak saya explain lepas ni ..

Dalam video terbaru dia .Ada sesuatu yang cuba disampaikan .Ada jalan cerita yang tersembunyi disebalik lagu yang dinyanyikan .Kalau hanya dengar lagu ,mungkin tak banyak yang kita boleh tahu .Kita akan mula analisa dari permulaan video lagu Alejandro – Lady Gaga hingga habis. Ini adalah jalan cerita berdasarkan video. Jangan hanya baca buka mata tapi baca buka minda.

Video dimulakan dengan laki-laki membuat beberapa formasi danbeberapa dari mereka kepala mereka ditutup dengan sarung, mungkinmengisyaratkan bahawa itu adalah orang-orang tahanan dari beberapa macam. Salahsatu laki-laki adalah dalam bentuk piramid sementara yang lain memeganghexagram sebagai tahanan berbaris.

"I know that we are young.And I know you may love me. But I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro."

Selepas tu diteruskan dengan proses pemakaman .Perarakan membawa keranda yang kita dapat nampak Cik Gaga kat depan tu mengenakan jubah hitam danmembawa Sacred Heart (Hati Kudus) .Sacred Heart ni adalah pendarahan hati Tuhan untuk umat manusia (dalam kepercayaan kristian). Kenapa kata Sacred Heart? Tengok gambar bawah.. Hati yang Lady Gaga pegang tu ada bukan hatibiasa biasatapi ada paku dan dawai yang di lilit-lilit (simbolik) yang samamacam Sacred Heart of Jesus (merujuk kepada hati Jesus).. Google untuk baca lebih lagi ..

But I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro. Siapa Alejandro? Seorang lelaki yang dia tak boleh bersama ke? And then dia curang dengan Roberto dan Fernando? (berdasarkan lirik). Jawapan nya tak .. Alejandro bukan seorang lelaki. Kalau dengar lagu tanpa tengok video mungkin takkan faham . Gambaran video ni mengatakan bahawa Alejandro mungkin membawa maksud sesuatu yang lebih dalam.. Jadi kalau bukan manusia. Apa dan siapa Alejandro?

Kemudian Gaga ni dipaparkan dalam kedudukan berkuasa, memakai mahkota hitam sambil melihat tahanan melakukan persembahan untuknya. Gaga kemudian mengalihkan satu goggle. Sekaligus mempamerkan simbol illuminati - TheAll-Seeing Eye (bukan sekali tapi banyak kali) untuk mendedahkan sifatsejati dari kekuatannya.

Selepas itu ada sebuah adegan simbolik lagi, seorang tentera dipaparkan dipasang ke string, seperti boneka. Yang jelas menunjukkan yang ada seseorang 'control' dia. Atau senang kita guna istilah dia adalah 'mind-control slave' .Dia tidak boleh mengawal pergerakan sendiri.. Dan memegang senjata di kemaluannya. Wajah dia nampak kosong, nampak bingung betul-betul seperti seorang hamba yang di-control segala pergerakannya - oleh Gaga si illuminatist tak guna.

Dalam adegan selanjutnya, Gaga sedang berbaring, memakai red latex suit yang untuk biarawati tu (Kristian) dan memegang tasbih .Okay jadi boleh nampak kan ..Waktu scene ni gaga pandang ke langit dan menyanyi part :"Stop,please, just let me go, Alejandro" .Sebaik saja diasebut "Alejandro" Gaga mengangkat dua tangannya kelangit. Jadi dalam ni kita boleh nampak dengan jelas nampak yang Alejandro merujuk kepada tuhan bukan manusia.

"She hides true loveEn su bolsillo. She's got a halo 'round her finger, Around you."

Maksud lirik ni pulak .A halo' bermaksud ia dianggap "suci"(holy). Around her finger(cincin kawin) merupakan penyatuan Gaga dengan tuhan melalui agama, tapi dia sekarang malu dengan pernikahan ini kerana suaminya telah mati. Jadi dia menyembunyikan cincin itu di bolsillo nya, bolsillo dalam Sepanyol yang bermaksud poket dan mula menyalahkan tuhan..

Selepas sahaja lirik tu... Konsep penolakkan (rejection) ditujukan kepada Tuhan bermula.. Kerana Tuhan nampaknya tidak memenuhi keperluan rohani Gaga. Dia kemudian memutuskan untuk mencari ketuhanan diri. Dengan memeluk satu spirituality yang baru. Dalam video ni lebih menunjukkan yang Gaga telah bertukar dari biarawati menjadi paderi Luciferian(Syaitan). Kenapa kata jadi paderi Syaitan?

(Mata Satu yang kita tahu simbolik kepada Illuminati)

Saya kata paderi syaitan sebab tengok jelah jubah Gaga di atas.. Ada banyak sangat simbol salib terbalik .Ni menunjukkan bahasa simbol yang membawa maksud yang jelas .Kita tahu salib adalah simbol keimanan bagiagama Kristian kerana mewakili pengorbanan Jesus & kebangkitan. Dalam Kristian, salib terbalik dikenali sebagai "Cross Of St.Peter", untukmenghormati Simon Peter yang diminta untuk disalibkan terbalik kerana dia merasa tidak sesuai untuk dihukum mati dalam hal yang sama seperti Kristian lain. Tapi dalam kalangan bukan-Kristian, salib terbalik merupakan simbol penyelewengan dan sesuatu yang membawa kuasa negatif kerana simbol terbalik selalu ditemui dalam ilmu hitam dan Satanisme iaitu pemujaan syaitan..

Salib terbalik dan pentagram terbalik adalah simbol yang selalu digunakan untuk berhubung dengan syaitan .Untuk memuja dan menyeru syaitan ..

" In symbolism, an inverted figure always signifies a perverted power (...) Black magic is not a fundamental art; it is the misuse of an art. Therefore it has no symbols of its own. It merely takes the emblematic figures of whitemagic, and by inverting and reversing them signifies that it is left-handed." - Manly P. Hall

Waktu ni lirik ni yang dinyanyikan menunjukkan gaga tidak mahu diganggu oleh tuhan.Dont bother me, Dont bother me,Alejandro (merujuk kepada tuhan)

Don't call my name , Don't callmy name, Bye Fernando ..I'm not you're babe , I'm not you're babe, Alejandro (tuhan)Salib terbalik (simbol syaitan) ditempatkan pada kedua bahu gaga, menjadi simbol tiang. Dilapiskan dan digabungkan dengan simbol terbalik di alat kelaminnya. Diangkat oleh sekumpulan lelaki dalam satu bulatan .Mengangkat seperti mengagungkan Gaga,menyambut kedatangan Gaga ke dalam kumpulan mereka.

Sebaik sahaja lepas tu menunjukkan Gaga memasukkan tasbih kedalam mulutnya . Tasbih adalah serangkaian manik-manik yang digunakandalam tradisi Katolik untuk berdoa dan meditasi. Dalam Islam sendiri ada tasbih.. Jadi dengan menelan tasbih, Gaga menggabungkan dalam dirinya simbol ketaatan dalam agama dan juga bermaksud cara Gaga untuk mendapatkan Ketuhanan dengan cara sendiri. Dia ingin mencapai keilahian dengan satu cara sendiri. Itu adalah prinsip aktif Lucifer .Jelas menunjukkan yang Gaga bukan menyembah tuhan tetapi Lucifer..

I'm not your babe I'm not your babe, Fernando. Waktumenyebut perkataan Fernando, Gaga membuat simbol tangan macam tu(yang jelas merujuk kepada Jesus) .Itu adalah tanda berkat bagi ajaranKristian, Katolik kepada mereka yang dianggap Suci. Jangan lah ingat Gaga tubuat simbol tu suka-suka .Sebab semua simbol membawa makna yang tersendiri.Kita yang kena solve apa makna dia..

Dapat tengok kan kat belakang Gaga ada salib ..Gagadah menghina kristian cukup banyak dalam video dia .Gaga menyanyisambil memandang keatas dan kemudian dia mengulang-ulang lirik :

" Don't call my name,Don't call me Name Bye Fernando (Jesus) "

Dan di akhir video ...Ditunjukkan Gaga dilampirkan bersama strings ..Pada mulanya Gaga control lelaki tu dan akhir video ditunjukkan Gaga pula di-control ..Oleh siapa ? Fikir-fikirkan lah siapa yang control cik Gaga ni .Siapa dalang disebalik semua ni ?Siapa ketua ?Anda mampu cari jawapan nya kan? Insya-Allah pasti ..

Sebagaimana disebutkan di atas, video Alejandro sangat kompleks dan simbolik, dan sesuai untuk multitafsir. Boleh jadi macam-macam.. bergantung pada pengetahuan si pemerhati dan sudut pandangan masing-masing. Namun demikian, rasanya bahagian-bahagian video Alejandro dalam ni jelas and tak perlu banyak teka teki macam video Telephone dan Bad Romancae. Jadi apa yang gaga nak cuba sampaikan dari video nya? Dalam ni gaga menolak iman Kristian oleh mengotori simbol dan menunjukkan yang ada satu kuasa spirituallain. Hmm lepas ni apa ? Menghina Al-Quran dan Islam? Nauzubillah jauh-jauhkan la ya Allah ...

Cik Gaga ni membawa bersamanya semuaagenda illuminati dan taktahu la macam mana ramai yang boleh terpukaudengan dia . Namun saya yakin dah ada banyak peminat dia yang mula ragu-ragudengan diri Gaga ,tindakan nya dalam setiap video. tapi masih tidak boleh berhentimendengarkannya. Ingin saya katakan kat sini ,berhentilah mendengar lagu Gaga.Tidak mustahil nanti dia akan cuba menyelitkan lirik yang akan menyebutLa-la-la Allah .(Tiada Allah) .Dan kita sebagai manusia sentiasa lalai.Tanpa iman mungkin kita akan menyanyikan lirik tersebut (dengan alasan iahanya lagu) dan pada saat itu ,apa akan jadi ? Ya Allah ,lindungi lah kamidari tipu daya syaitan dan sekutu nya.. Amin ya rabbalalamin. Sumber asal: vigilant citizen :)

Sesungguhnya pendengaran, penglihatan dan hati, semuanya itu akan diminta pertanggungan jawabnya"(Al-Isra' 17:36)

Tak perlu minta izin, silakan pd yg nak share, ini pun diterima dr seorg rakan dan sy pasti dia pun menerima dr rakan yg lain..

Credit kepada penulis asal yg sy tak dapat pastikan siapa, moga kita beroleh manfaat..

dah abes baca? scary dak, scary dak? i had goosebumps ok while reading this..it's like watching a horror movie yg sangat suspen as if the killer was actually hiding behind me..aaaa..i hate horror movie! ok, takda kaitan..dah, nk gi smyg subuh...dh lewat ni...ada neraka utk org yg sengaja melengah- lengahkan smyg...takut!!!

my newly bought product review

i got my practicum allowance recently which i thought that i might never gonna get it but thank God, i got it and already finished spending half of it, yeah, the normal me..the allowance, it's not much, but it really means the world to me and to people whom only have less than rm10 in their bank account..bear in mind, im still jobless,ok...

so, since i have some money, i bought a new product for my oily-combination-acne prone skin, not a very good "combination" i have there, i know, huu...to cut it short, i found a forum where people were raving about the miracle mask that had done wonders to their acne prone skin as well as their scars, so i searched for more reviews...most reviews were encouraging thus made me so tempting to try.. then i came across the product's official website...after thinking it through, i decided to buy the package 2 while crossing my fingers hoping that it will work on me..fuh..

after 2 days, i received the parcel..and i was shocked! why? because i really didn't expect that the cleanser was not a fluid form..yea, u heard me right..no, not even in gel like, it's in powder form..yes, a POWDER cleanser..ok, may be i'm acting a bit jakun here, but seriously, i had never seen a face cleanser in powder, ever!..haha..i was quite skeptical to try it at first, but i started to like it..even though it smells so organic which some people might not like it, but it's fine with me..and the thing that i love most about it was, it really makes my face less oily, yay for that! and i think it also made my giant pores shrank a little bit..phew, can u imagine what a relief i must have felt at that time that i didn't just throw my money away for some useless junk..haha!

later at night, i tried the miracle mask...well i must say, there's not much of a miracle about it..but, it did make my skin look much better, my giant pores had shrunken, my pimples kinda stop growing, my face seemed brighter, and that's all for now...i can clearly smelled the cinnamon in it..which i knew it's good for scars...but, i can't say yet whether this mask can really help in lightening my scars *as they promoted* because i've been using it for less than a week... 

all in all, i'm quite satisfied with this Ninety Nine Face product..now i'm using it along with my St. Ives Apricot Face Wash...and i have also stopped using Dalacin T (great remedy for acne prone skin) for a while because i wanna give the new products a try..

are replaced with these

im such a sucker and gullible for cosmetics that promise great results..i know some promises are given just to sell the products..but, well, it works on me, yup, it does sometimes..especially when it's not that expensive...haha..kalo mahal mcm SKII, Chanel and all, i would think very thoroughly before proceed with buying..but if it costs me less than rm100, my senses kinda lost me there...hadoi...Tuhan dh ckp, nafsu perempuan tu ada 9..and these cosmetics thingy is among the nine's..*sigh*

My verdict:
1. ninety nine face cleanser (7/10)
pros: makes your face less oily for quite sometime, brighten your complexion, shrink your pores, 4 in 1 functions (cleanser, moisturiser, toner, exfoliator), makes your skin feel so clean
cons: the smell (for some people) and for the people who hate waiting *u have to wait for few minutes before rinse it off*

2. miracle mask (6/10)
pros: left skin feeling smooth, doesn't dry out your skin, clean and shrink pores, give your face some radiance, stop pimples from growing, can be used on your body as well
cons: not for a lazy bum people because you have to mix it yourself (it's a DIY kinda mask), not for those whom are allergic to cinnamon.

okay, that's it people..thanks for wasting your time reading my ramblings..

fasting month

what happen to this blogspot? whenever i want to create a new post ja, the column edit HTML yg kuar, and it's loading for hours..penat menekan compose byk2 kali, ni baru bleh..haih..nevermind..

anyway, today im going to talk about the real meaning of fasting...it's because i think i kinda get the wrong notion bout its reason...it so happened that at the beginning of Ramadan i was so excited nk buat biskut raya...but then, my mom said, don't do it yet, hayati dulu bulan puasa, the main reason why we fast is not for the sake of celebrating the Eid, it's to teach us to be grateful and do as much ibadah as possible..terkedu sebentar bila dengar my mom ckp cmtu..malu dan segan sgt rs..ya la, blajar tinggi2, tp basic agama cmni pn tak tahu.. T_T

so, i did some readings to remind me on what i've learned during high school about fasting..and it proved that my mom was right *of course la kan, huhu*..

The month of Ramadan is a time in which we hold our bodily compulsions and instincts under strict control, together with our thoughts and our mental states, our moods and desires. We submit ourselves (our nafs) and our accustomed patterns of life to a higher template, one that fosters a regimen of self-restraint within the body and mind and correspondingly seeks an intensification of the life of the spirit. The body is ordered to fast from what it needs, from what is normally allowed to it, from what it desires, from what it craves, from what it may seek on a whim, and from what it habitually seeks - from all that leads to an intensification of the activities of the nafs. By fasting, a person keeps himself from the pleasures of life, with no preventive or hindering factor, except that of obeying God and showing genuine devotion to His commands. 
(source: here and here)

There, i bet most of us has misinterpreted the real meaning of this fasting month, kan...we are so excited preparing cookies and dishes to celebrate the Eid ul-Fitr..it doesn't count the preparation for the attire lagi...kalut (sibuk) nk bli kasut la, tudung la, nk bg matching dgn baju raya, kan...so much for keeping ourselves from the pleasures of life..astagfirullah hal 'azim..it's not wrong to prepare everything early, but it becomes wrong when our focus is more on celebrating the Eid rather than to fully embrace the real meaning of fasting month...God bless those people who go for terawih every night for the sake of showing genuine devotion to Allah in this fasting month (ya la, bln lain mana ada terawih,kn) ...hence people, let's check on ourselves whether we really focus on savouring this fasting month or we merely focus on celebrating the Eid...

Renung - renungkan, dan selamat beramal...

a bit late, i know

though i'm a week late, but i guess i still can wish all of u Happy Fasting! May this year will be better than last year..Insyaallah..

p/s: i'm quite busy this month because mostly everyday i'll be going back to my grandparents' house and have my iftar there..my grandma's cookings are awesome! plz, do come and have iftar with us if u have some time :D

i like

don't u think that her hair is so amazing?

i really like her hair..

the meaning of love

“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

-Sam Keen, (American Philosopher, Spiritual mentor, motivational speaker and Writer)

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul."

--St. Augustine

 "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
--Robert Heinlein

 "Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
--Erich Fromm

a sudden stochasticity thought

everyone loves money..especially in a huge amount...it's undoubtedly true, right? why we love money so much? because we can use it to buy everything we need as well as everything we want..we are able to help the poor and make the people that we love happy by giving them things that they like..we are able to go wherever we want in this world..we are able to make other people's life much better..the list can go on if we are talking about the benefits of having a lot of money...and it seems that money is really important in making world a better place, isn't it?

some says, money can buy everything..how far does this statement apply in your life? for me, money cannot buy everything..yes, maybe it can give us every single material things that we dream of having in our life but the peace in your heart and mind, are not sold anywhere...the feeling of grateful, humanity, compassion, just to name a few, cannot be bought with money..maybe those things does not seem important to certain people, but, i believe those feelings are far greater than what money can buy..

it irks me when some people respect other people just because they are filthy rich, driving a luxury car, living in a super big houses and all the things that shows the huge amount of money involved...it's not wrong in wanting that kind of life, but to respect? plz..we respect people because of their personality, the moral values that they have in them which can inspire us all in becoming a better human being...i know, some people have different view about this thing, so, im really sorry if my perspective contradicted with yours..

it's the end of the world...people are striving hard in becoming successful and rich just to gain some special place in the community..values are marginalized..people would do anything just to earn the extra money that they can get..but trust me, the more u get, the more u feel that it's not enough because u will always refer to people whom are richer and more successful than u..and the battle will never end..there will always be someone who is better than u...what we can do is just being grateful in what we have, pursuing what we love and do what God asks us to do, and without money, life can be at peace...like how i feel right now ;-) jobless, broke, but still, im happy..why?? because im surrounded by people that i love and whom love me as who i am now..and money can't buy love...

thanks for reading this crap.hee.

“It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.”  

 -George Lorimer

what is your ideal ring?

have u watched The Twilight Saga: Eclipse? well, if u had, i bet u've seen the ring that Edward gave to Bella as their wedding token..after the released of the movie, i've seen many people are drooling over the ring, want to have the exact same ring as their wedding token..

as for me, i think the ring seems quite gorgeous, and kinda symbolize luxury..but, i do not want that to be my wedding ring..it's too big and sort of, too show off..hey, no offense, i'm a big fan of twilight, fyi..i read all the four books for almost 3 times..this is just my opinion..hee

i like a wedding ring to be simple but classic..i don't like the-more-than-one-stone on a ring...seriously..one is just perfect..because i only want to get married once and to the only one that i love...so, the one stone on it, should symbolize the same thing, right..hee..maybe i'm the only one who think like this, but, i can't help it..i see it like that..everyone has different view over certain things..thus, mine lies on this tiny little thing..

ok, plz don't get me wrong..it's not that i'll be getting married in any time soon..i'm making this new post is just because of the rave about the ring in the movie..just sharing some piece of mind..*peace*

posting fever

we might know the result of where we are going to be posted by today, or so i was told..but then, one of my friends checked with the ministry, and we were told that the result will be out on the 21st..so, being given two dates, i did check it today, but still, it stated that my name is still not the list..pheww..i'm kinda relieved actually..because i don't feel like working yet...i'm still having a good time at home, being pampered and all..hehe..

i really cannot imagine how am i going to be at school later..there's one thing that makes me kinda excited about my job is that i am going to be around kids..by kids, i mean, 12 years old and below..im glad i made that choice when i sign up for this profession..i don't think i'll be able to handle teenagers in the secondary school..i dun have enough patience to deal with them..but with kids, most people always say that kids really adore me..haha..i don't know whether it's really true or not, but from my experience, i kinda have a thing with kids..maybe because i really adore them so much..so, they might have developed the same feeling for me..heee..

i always come across some people whom ask me,"which school are u teaching, secondary or primary?" i would proudly answer, "primary school!" with a proud smile on my face..and then i can see a smirk on their face that they are thinking some sort of like: "ohh, kata ada degree, tp ajar sekolah rendah ja pn"...and as if i know what they are thinking, i would reply with, "mmg mintak primary school, kids are more challenging, plus, i receive the same paycheck with the high school teachers, with a bonus: i can go back home earlier"..then their face would change, like a total surprise, and say, "eh, yaka, gaji sama ka, igtkan gaji cikgu sekolah menengah lg banyak, untung la kan"...*a bit annoyed*..not that i'm mad, but i see them as ignorants, because they do not know that nowadays, even the primary school teachers must have a degree..so, let's just pity them...hehe

being a teacher is an exciting job..even though i didn't like the idea of it at first when my dad applied this course for me, but as years passed by, i kinda embrace the feeling of becoming one..i really love the idea of being able to help the young generations to spell and read..

oh gosh..look at the time..i've been bragging way too much about my job already until i haven't noticed the time..it's already passed my bedtime..so nighty night..sleep tight..

body conscious

i think i've gained few kilos during this holiday..dammit..i was planning to go for a jog at least 3 times a week..but it was meant to doom..i wake up at around 10a.m-12 p.m everyday...take a shower for almost an hour..then pray and take my brunch..switch on my laptop and broadband and stuck in front of the laptop for hours..the next time i look at the time, it's already 6 pm..i would rush to pray and sms Azry after that..he would call me and we'd talk for almost half an hour..the next time i see the time again, it's already 7 p.m..damn..it happens for almost everyday..sometimes, it rains heavily...another time i would hang out with my friends..and the main thing that we always do is finding a good place to eat and gossiping for hours..not that i blame them, because it's not like we go out every week..i blame myself for not sticking up to the plan..6 weeks passed and i didn't go for a jog for even once..urgh.

most people would say to me that im already thin and skinny *duhhh*..plz...u havent seen me naked...i do..so i know how i look like..and i hate it...i wouldn't dare to wear a bikini or a short *ok, a short is a lie*...it's because my lower part is so ugly..i have these giant thighs and huge calves which i have no idea how to get rid of the extra fat in it, and it  is so horrible...my arms seem kinda flabby already..i used to actively jog most of the evenings..some other time, i would go for squash..it's usually when i feel so stressed out over something and jogging alone is not enough..gosh, i miss UUM...

i know that some people would die just to have my body *ok, to die is a bit overrated, some other word, plz*..and i do not seem to be grateful about it..it's not that i'm not, it's because i know i can have a better shape than this..IF..i can be a bit hardworking in doing the exercises...alright, the IF has come out...i have a lot of IFs in my life right now, but unfortunately, it's useless because i chose how i end up today..so, let's just skip the IF's part..

all in all, this body conscious of mine is kinda getting worst from day to day lately..i don't know why..maybe because i just eat everything i want...and later regret it it when i get on a weighing scale..and maybe when i wear my skinny jeans then i can see the extra bulges around my hips and my thighs and my waist and my calves etc..i can never be satisfied with it unless i have a body that i want..but then again, when it happens, will i ever be satisfied? i don't think so..this is what we called human being..haih...

it's you im thinking about

insomnia

gosh. it's almot 2 a.m. and im not even sleepy..i have to wake up early tomorrow (means after Subuh prayer i cannot sleep)..

lately, my biological clock does not seem to function well...thanks to the World Cup..it's not that I spent every night watching all the matches...it's because i followed the update for some of the matches via fifa.com...
why i didnt watch it?? haa...it's because it makes me nervous watching it live..hahaha...the only match that i watched was the final, Spain vs Netherlands..

i never intended to really keep updating my blog from time to time..i created it just to fill my time..whenever i feel like writing and publishing it, i will write it here...but if i don't feel like publishing it, i will just write in my diary..yes, i have a diary..for me, i do not think that it is lame to have one...it's like a recording of what had been going on with your life..from that, all the good memories remain..back to what i said earlier, being jobless at the moment makes me so active with blogging.. i even created a tumblr....that one is really just for fun...posting pictures and meaningful words..

i don't know what should i do to make me feel sleepy...i've tried everything i know, from reading a book to counting sheep (yes, i really did that), but nothing seems to work...reading a book is definitely a bad idea...for a book worm like me (i  really am a book worm, just not those academics type) reading a book will only going to brighten my eyes, wider...

maybe i should watch some lousy movie..because of the lousiness, i may become sleepy..that's it for now, people..good night and wish me luck..

a small note

i miss you~!

my wish list :-)

being jobless and broke, there are so many things that i wanna buy..this is the syndrome that i always face during my poor time..haha..but bear with me because at the moment i've been eyeing so many things that "i think, i really need" at the moment..so, let's check it out..

1. n97 mini

2. handbags

3. shoesssss

i think the list shall stop at 3 for the time being...just look at the picture can drive me crazy all day long..hehe..i may, one day, be able to afford the Coach handbags, but Mulberry, naah..i don't think so..maybe i'll just buy the inspired ones sold by lot of the online sellers..hehe..the same thing applies to the shoes..i can never afford to buy the Christian Louboutin's, Jimmy Choo's and Dior's Bradshaw heels, but there are plenty of its inspired version...heeee...

*Long Sigh*

My very own quote of the day:

"Don't bother to ask, and don't even try to care if you can't handle the truth"

Have you ever felt so annoyed when you were so upset about something..then somebody ask you about it, when you don't really feel like talking about it, but that person keep asking you for so many times, till you tell that person about what made you felt that way, but that person make you feel more miserable because of the reply that that person gave to you...?? Sumpah sakit hati!

Adrenaline Rush

Have u ever wonder how does it feel to jump from the high place? Well, I am..please don't get me wrong, it's not that I want to commit suicide or what..I'm talking about the activities that can make your adrenaline rush..

Frankly said, i'm quite scared of height...during my childhood, whenever I went to my dad's office, which is on the 10th floor, I would feel sick being in the elevator and looking through the windows..but, I have my ego, and that led me to pretend that I'm okay whenever I'm with my dad or my little brothers..

Because of that ego that I have, I kinda overcome my fear for height..I believe that is a good thing for me..So, as I grew up, I become curious on how does it feel to be in the air..I was told that I can easily feel it when I go on a plane..but, I don't think so..because in a plane, you can't feel the air around u..

Thus, I have developed some interest towards some activities in the air..something that can make your adrenaline rush..here are the things that I wish to try, let's take a look.. :-)

1. Skydiving

Woohoo..it seems so cool isn't it..jumping out from a plane into the air..I might be unconscious for a while, I think..hahaha..but it is definitely worth the try, don't you think?

2. Para-gliding

This one less scary than skydiving..but still, u gotta have the courage to be on that thing and fly up in the sky..at Batu Feringghi, there are hotels that provide this activity, for RM60 I think..but I'm not sure which hotel..I think it's Shang Ri-La and I think few of my friends had tried this one..gotta check with them later..and my turn will surely come..need to make some arrangement with my life schedule..it's now or never, right..I have to make it happen..*fingers cross*

3. Bungee Jumping

This one is really gonna make your adrenaline rush with the speed of light..for those who are scared to try it alone, u can do it with your love ones as u can see in the pictures..it seems like a sweet thing to do..I bet it has a different feeling doing it alone and doing it with your partner..

4. Hot Air Balloon Ride

This activity can be classified as less life threatening and less adrenaline rush compare to the other three..hehe..but, it still gives u the feeling of being in the air, right..I missed the hot air balloon festival in Putrajaya last March because I was so busy with my practicum..I hope that the opportunity will rise again so that I can try..or else, Netherlands, here I come! hehe *an attempt to find an excuse to go there* :p

There, the four activities that I really wanted to try..two of them can be done in Malaysia or so I hope..if not it shall be done with the other two during my trip to Europe (still in the plan, but I'm gonna make it happen with God's will, Insyaallah)..Thus, for now,I just pray a lot, and do some saving..

Officially finished my 6 years course

I've been on hiatus for such a very long time..as you can see my last post dated back on 16th of January..thus, it's been around 4 months since I last wrote in here..
Well, referring to the title, all I can say is YAYYY!!! Finally....phew...I am the last person in my circle of friends to finish the study..all of my friends are all working now except for Y, but she's on the way towards it already..so, I bet you can imagine how I feel..
A little update on what I did for the past 4 months in case you've been wondering..
1. I had my practicum for 10 weeks (1st Feb - 23rd April)..I had a wonderful time there, really..I do love that school..The teachers are awesome and helpful, the pupils are so eager to learn with me and the environment really motivates me to be a good teacher.. :-) That was the first and the last practicum for me..I am, still am, very grateful to get that school despite all the bitterness and pressure that I had before I started my practicum..anyway, that bitter part had nothing to do with the school, so, I'll just leave it there..All that matter is that I really had fun during my practicum..weee..
2.Then, I prepared for my exam which was on 3rd of May.
3. After that, I took a bus to KL to meet my beloved friends over there because we were going for a vacation! We went to Cherating..actually, the plan was to go to Perhentian..but there were some complications, so I ended up going to Cherating..but, it was so damn fun! I guess as long as my friends are around me, anywhere would be fun..heee...
4. I went to my boyfriend's house for barbecue last Friday...it was my first time to officially meet his family..I was damn nervous..I was from Penang with him, thus I just bring the corns that he asked me to buy at the Tesco before he picked me up..so, I was in high anxiety of what his parents gonna think of me...dude, his sisters brought spaghetti, coleslaw, kek batik, cupcakes and satay...and I brought NOTHING except my big fat ass and just offered some help around the kitchen....but thank God...his parents are very nice as well as his other family members...they really seem to welcome me well to their family...and what I love most are his nephews and nieces..they are so adorable and clever..there's one thing that I really like about him that night, he really took care of me around his family...I really appreciate it...


Whoa..I guess it should be enough for this time being..


Currently, I really love this quote, by Clark Kent:

"Now that he's gone, the question is, am I enough?"